I am in excruciating pain. The only thing that is keeping me sane is to basically keep my foot frozen. I am waiting for Vlad to get home with some Tylenol for me, so I can try to function without the icepack wrapped around my frosty foot. I have no idea what happened. There was no blunt trauma or injury of any kind. I even worked out yesterday. I had noticed for the past 6 months or so, that the joint just under my big toe would start aching at the end of a workout, but as soon as I was done, it would stop. This morning I woke up and it was hurting pretty badly, but I was able to walk. I went to work, but as the day progressed, I could see the foot was starting to swell and by the end of the day, I could not put any weight on it at all. Now I cannot walk. I have resorted to using the step stool as my makeshift walker in order to be able to make it to the potty. I am helpless.
You may be asking yourself, “Why doesn’t she take anything for the pain? Why is she waiting for the Tylenol?” Well my friends, that is because I am in the wonderful two week wait. Two weeks of playing it safe, just in case I am pregnant, which I don’t think I am, because I don’t even think I ovulated this month. I did get a positive OPK, but because my pre-O temps were so high this month that I did not have a thermal shift. So, one of the following has happened. Either my temps are screwy this month due to some external factor, and I did ovulate, or I did not ovulate at all. This would be a first. This is very scary to me. All I have had up until now is the fact that, rain or shine, I was ovulating every month. Anyway, now I don’t even know how many DPO I am, if I am even any DPO. All I want is a baby! Why is this so hard?
Also, if someone else tells me that I am not getting pregnant because we are trying too hard, or that I need to relax and it will happen, I will kill them where they stand. Seriously. There is no way that I can just “let it happen” I have been thinking about this every single day for the past 6 years. It is a permanent fixture in my brain. It is my way of life. It is not going anywhere. So give it up! I am not going to stop thinking about it, talking about it, blogging about it, or trying too hard. Actually, I am rather enjoying all the hard “trying”.
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